Hidden Thought : Count to 10 before you speak

If you react immidiately to criticism then you'll often react in a Knee-jerk manner, and the words that come outmay be overemotional, vivious and unnecessary. Count at least 10 after someone has criticised you, then respond. This simple way of calming yourself down and regaining some perspective can save you a lot of trouble and help you avoid saying something you can't take back. it's a good approach to avoid creating unnecessary problems. Maybe you've heard this one before. Its a great and practical way to look at criticism. It might be extra useful when dealing with angry, destructive criticism and nasty personal attacks.

A man interrupted one of the Buddha's lectures with a flood of abuse. Buddha waited untill he had finished and then asked him,"If a man offered a gift to another but the gift was declined, to whom would be gift belong?" "To the one who offered", said the man. "Then", said the Buddha,"I decline to accept you abuse and request you to keep it for yourself."

Simply don't accept the gift of a criticism, you don't have to. Then it still belongs tto the person who offered it.

Be Strong: Don't let your own thoughts stress you out!

Think about how often we all have conversations in the privacy of our own minds. It happens, practically nonstop, all day long, every day of our lives. We’re in the car thinking about something – a deadline, an argument, a potential conflict, a mistake, a worry, whatever. Or we’re at the office or in the shower, doing the very same thing – and it all seems so real. When we are thinking, however, it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that we think thoughts, not reality. Let me explain. It may seem strange, but most of us have a tendency to forget that we’re thinking because it’s something that we’re always doing – like breathing. But until I mentioned breathing, you weren’t really consciously aware that you were breathing—were you?

Thinking works in a similar way. Because it’s such a part of us, we tend to give enormous significance and take very seriously most of the thoughts that drift through our minds. We begin to treat our thoughts as if they were the real thing, allowing them to stress us out.

If you reflect on this idea, you’ll probably be able to see the practical implications. When you have a thought, that’s all it is – a thought. Thoughts certainly don’t have the power or authority to stress you out without your conscious or unconscious consent. Thoughts are just images and ideas in your mind.

Listen to the criticism and get the +ive/-ive

When someone criticizes you, instead of attacking the other person(s) for their words and building a hostile atmosphere try to calm it down. Try to remain level-headed, open and figure out how this can help you. Even when someone blurts out something not too constructive like “Your work/blog/product stinks!” you might want to ask a few open-ended questions like:

- Why does it stink?
- How can I improve it?
- How can we solve this?

If they can’t answer your questions then they are probably just lashing out. But there is sometimes valuable information in negative criticism. Try to get practical and concrete details about what’s wrong. Perhaps there is already a solution to the problem but you need more information to realise that. By improving the communication and making it more specific and detailed you can come closer to understanding each other and solving the problem. If you can understand, help and change the mood of the one delivering the criticism he or she will probably appreciate it quite a bit and you may have turned a potential conflict into a valuable relationship.

Dealing With Incompetence

Like so many things, incompetence seems to be represented by a bell shaped curve. There is always going to be a small percentage of people who are near the top, most people will fall somewhere near the middle, and a few will lie toward the bottom.

A few people in each field will be really good, most will be sort of average, and there will always be a few that make you wonder how in the world they manage to make a living.

Many people complain about incompetence, are bothered by it, discuss its rampant trend with others, and spend valuable time and energy hoping and wishing it would go away. I’ve seen people so upset about obvious incompetence that I thought they might have a heart attack or a nervous breakdown. Instead of seeing it as a necessary evil, they get all worked up, often compound the problem with their harsh reaction, and bang their head against the wall in frustration. In the end, nothing was accomplished except that the frustrated person had an emotional meltdown and made himself look bad.

In no way am I saying it’s pleasant to deal with incompetence, but if you want to avoid feeling so irritated, it’s important that you stop being so surprised and caught off guard by it. It’s helpful to understand that some degree of incompetence is about as predictable as an occasional rainy day.

The next time you run into incompetence, even if it’s deliberate, see if you can make the best of it, rectify the situation if possible, and then go on with your day. --

देवभूमि काशी : ब्रह्माण्ड में एक दिव्य स्थान

Varanasi is definitely very old and takes pleasure in a History that dates back to 3000 years. The History of Varanasi city starts with the inhabiting of some Aryan peoples out here.

Some Aryan people came from the north of country and made this land their residence. According to accepted religious myths Lord Shiva made Varanasi his habitat after marrying Parvati. Varanasi is also mentioned in the Indian epics Mahabharata, Ramayana and also in the Buddhist Jataka tales. They all are great indicator to Varanasi’s archaeological find. In History of Varanasi it is also mentioned that Lord Buddha visited here a way back in 500 B.C. Actually it was on the outer edge of Varanasi where the Lord Buddha moralized his first sermon after becoming “The Enlightened One”.

Although reading the History of Varanasi, one is sure to experience that it is a liquefying point of many different cultures. Apart from its close association with Buddhism and Hinduism, it has links with one more religion – Jainism. The Jains admire this city very greatly because their three तीर्थंकर were born here.

During continuous attacks starting with the gang of Mahmud Ghazni in 1033 CE followed by Mohammed Gori in 1193 CE. Muslims rob and destroyed Hindu temples many times in Varanasi, and used the temple stuffs to construct mosques. At the begin of the 17th century, Mughal Emperor Akber brought some relief in the demolition of Hindu temples, but at the end of 17th century, another Mughal Emperor Aurangzeb again start temple destruction. Even he renamed the Varanasi city as Mohammadabad. These years Muslim, who escaped from other parts of India, learned scholars in Varanasi. Than finally Marathas came to the salvage of the city. Varanasi lost its pride when it was under the control of Mughals but Marathas brought back the old city.

Varanasi has also been a hub of education for ages. Varanasi is linked with encouragement of spiritualism, religious studies, yoga, Hindi language, Sanskrit, and privileged with writers such as the legendary novelist Prem Chand and famous saint and poet तुलसीदास, who wrote राम चरित मानस.

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विश्व प्रसिद्द धार्मिक स्थल :

* काशी विश्वनाथ मंदिर

* संकट मोचन मंदिर

* काल भैरव मंदिर

* तुलसी मानस मंदिर

* भारत माता मंदिर

* दुर्गा जी मंदिर

विश्व प्रसिद्द ज्ञानार्जन के स्थल :

* काशी हिन्दू विश्वविद्यालय

* महात्मा गाँधी काशी विद्यापीठ

* संपूर्णानंद संस्कृत विश्वविद्यालय

* राजर्षि उदय प्रताप कॉलेज

* हरिश्चंद्र महाविद्यालय



वाराणसी के घाट :


There are number of temples on the bank of the Ganga river in Varanasi. It is believed that people are cleansed physically, mentally and spiritually at Ganga Ghats. It is at the Ganga Ghats where we see life and death together. For thousands of years people have been thronging these Ghats to offer their morning prayers to the rising sun. There are more than 100 ghats along side Ganga in Varanasi. Some of the prominent and popular Ghats at Varanasi are the दशास्वमेध घाट , मणिकर्णिका घाट , हरिश्चंद्र घाट , कबीर घाट , पंचगंगा घाट ( जहां पांच नदियों का संगम होता है ) और अस्सी घाट .

वाराणसी के पर्व :

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By virtue of its religious and cultural importance, Varanasi is abuzz with fairs and festivals all round the year. Almost every month, some important festival is celebrated in Varanasi. Besides festivals and holidays, many "Melas" or fairs are also held at Varanasi. At Varanasi, fairs and festivals are celebrated with traditional gaiety and fervor and are symbolic of celebration of life at its best. The festive atmosphere never seems to end in Varanasi. It's not important to make itinerary according to the dates and months as one can come and enjoy the festive season of Varanasi anytime of the year!





1) महाशिवरात्रि 2) भरत मिलाप 3) रंगभरी एकादशी4) बुद्ध पूर्णिमा 5) देव दीपावली 6) हनुमान जयंती 7) नाग नथैया 8) नक्क्तैया 9) राम लीला - वाराणसी

वाराणसी की विश्व प्रसिद्द कला :

* बनारसी साड़ी

* बनारसी कालीन

* बनारस के हाथ से बने वास्तुशिल्प

दर्शनीय स्थल :

* Sarnath Museum * Ashoka Lion Capital * Buddhist Temples * Chaukhandi Stupa * Dhamekh Stupa * Dharmrajika Stupa * Bharat Kala Bhavan * Banaras Hindu University * Jantar Mantar * Ramnagar Fort * Chandraprabha Sanctuary * Chunar Fort * Jaunpur * Kaushambi * Vindhyachal

Lot more to come about Varanasi in my next Blog ;

Be grateful when your mood is high ; graceful when it is low

Moods are one of those unavoidable, mysterious parts of life that must be dealt with by everyone. Our understanding of moods greatly affects not only our wisdom and perspective but our overall level of satisfaction as well. Generally speaking, when our mood is high, our spirits are up. When our mood is low, our spirits are down. Moods are like the weather, constantly changing. When we are in low mood, we think of our dissatisfactions more than when we feel good. We worry! The fascinating thing about moods is that, to a large degree, we only believe these negative, fearful, and self-defeating thoughts when our mood is low. When our mood is high, we think very differently. We don’t worry as much. The trick is to be grateful when your mood is high and graceful when it is low. Try to keep in mind the effect your mood is having on the way you are thinking and feeling. Your understanding of moods allows you to keep your perspective and not take so seriously the thoughts you are having when you are low. Rather than believing in your negative and fearful perceptions, you can dismiss them as being mood related. When you are in a low mood, don’t make important life decisions. Your thinking and wisdom are not as sound as they will be in a higher state of mind.

Beware of “thought attacks”

We think practically nonstop, all day long, every day of our lives.

For example, you might have a series of thoughts while driving to work “Oh God, today is going to be really horrible. I’ve got six meetings and must finish those two reports by noon. I dread seeing Anil because he will still be angry about the disagreement we have yesterday.”

At this point, essentially only one of two things can happen. You can either take the thoughts seriously, start feeling worried, think about them some more, analyze how difficult your life has become, feel sorry for yourself, and so forth. Or if you recognize what has just happened, if you are consciously aware that you’ve just had a mini “thought attack,” you can simply remind yourself that all that has occurred is yet another series of thoughts has traveled through your mind.

You’re not even at work yet you’re still driving in the car!

This doesn’t mean that your day is going to be trouble-free or that you’re pretending all is well and good. But think of how illogical it is to be having a bad day at work before your day officially begins.

It’s ludicrous – but that’s precisely what most of us do all day long. We have thought after thought after thought. Yet we forget that it’s thought. We treat it as real.