Think Different : Forgive yourself, you are a HUMAN

“To err is human, to forgive divine.” You might as well insert the word “yourself” into this all-so-true observation about being human. 

Let’s face it. We are human, and to be human means you’re going to make errors, at least some of the time. You’re going to make plenty of mistakes, mess up from time to time, lose your way, forget things, lose your temper, say things you shouldn't have, and all the rest. 

I’ve never understood why this simple fact of life – our tendency to make mistakes – is so surprising or disappointing to people. 

To me, one of the saddest mistakes we make is a lack of forgiveness, especially to ourselves. We constantly remind ourselves of our flaws and previous mistakes. We anticipate future mistakes. We’re highly critical of ourselves, frequently disappointed, and ruthless in our self-judgment. We blame ourselves, and often we’re our own worst enemy.

It seems to me that to be unforgiving of yourself is foolish and ridiculous. Most of us are doing the best that we can – really. But we’re not perfect. The truth is, we’re a work-in-progress. 

We should learn from our mistakes and from stumbling and keep moving ahead in life. 

Be willing to ask, but …

There’s an old saying: “If you don’t ask for what you want, you’re not going to get it.”

The only problem with the “be willing to ask” philosophy is that it doesn’t take into consideration the large percentage of the time that you don’t get something, even when you do ask or when you feel you deserve it. So, the old saying, if taken literally, can create some frustration.

Any potential frustration, however, can be prevented by including a lack of insistence upon your desired result. In other words, it’s terrific, courageous, and important to ask for what you want, but if you’re attached to the outcome, you could be in for a long and ongoing series of disappointments in your life. 

The key to becoming less attached to the outcomes of your requests is to depersonalize them. In other words, try to see that more often than not, being turned down has very little to do with you. For example, if you ask for a raise, your request may or may not be possible, depending on factors other than you – your company’s budget, the implications to other workers, rules within the department, and so forth. 

Change your perspective!

There was once an old lady who cried all the time. Her elder daughter was married to an umbrella merchant while the younger daughter was the wife of a potter. On sunny days, she worried, "Oh no! The weather is so nice and sunny. No one is going to buy any umbrellas. What will happen if the shop has to be closed?" These worries made her sad. She just could not help but cry. 

When it rained, she would cry for the younger daughter. She thought, "Oh no! My younger daughter is married to a potter. Pots cannot be made without the sun. Now there will be no pots to sell. What should we do?" As a result, the old lady lived in sorrow every day. 
Whether sunny or rainy, she grieved for one of her daughters. Her neighbors could not console her and jokingly called her "the crying lady." 

One day, she met a monk. He was very curious as to why she was always crying. She explained the problem to him. The monk smiled kindly and said, "Madam! You need not worry. I will show you a way to happiness, and you will need to grieve no more." 

The crying lady was very excited. She immediately asked the monk to show her what to do. The master replied, "It is very simple. You just need to change your perspective. On sunny days, do not think of your elder daughter not being able to sell umbrellas but the younger daughter being able to dry her pots. With such good strong sunlight, she must be able to make plenty of pots and her business must be very good. 

When it rains, think about the umbrella store of the elder daughter. With the rain, everyone must be buying umbrellas. She will sell a lot of umbrellas and her store will prosper." 

The old lady saw the light. She followed the monk’s instruction. After a while, she did not cry anymore; instead, she was smiling every day. From that day on she was known as "the smiling lady." 

Do not be unforgiving of yourself if you commit a mistake

Do not be unforgiving of yourself if you commit a mistake or make an error. Life did not come with a foolproof manual. Most of us are doing the best that we can. We are not perfect. We learn from our mistakes and from stumbling. 

Like almost everyone else, I have a great number of responsibilities. In fact, it usually seems like I am juggling ten or twenty balls in the air simultaneously. So, to assume, I will never make mistakes is absurd.

Can you sense how framing mistakes in this more realistic way gets you off the hook? In other words, when you make a mistake – even a stupid one – this more philosophical outlook allows you to keep your perspective and sense of humor instead of beating yourself up. 

Instead of saying to yourself, “What an idiot,” you should be able to say, “More proof that I’m human.”

Less you worry about your problems, the easier they will be to solve

Deep down, we all know that for every problem there is a solution. Many times, the solution is obvious to a dispassionate observer, which is the primary reason corporations as well as entrepreneurs hire outside consultants. 

Often, the reason we cannot see these obvious solutions is that we are trapped in our emotional reactions and habitual ways of seeing life.

The alternative to dealing head on with problems is to clear your mind instead of filling it with painful, confusing details. Quiet down, reflect, and listen. 

Allow your wisdom, that softer part of your thinking, to surface. More often than not, seemingly out of nowhere (actually from Supersoul – the Lord in the heart), you will have an insight, an answer to your problem. 

The less you worry about your problems, the easier they will be to solve!

Always be Happy : Steps you can take to ease the sting of criticism

To become a top performer, you will need to open yourself up to feedback from those around you. Here are some steps you can take to ease the sting of criticism and begin to make it work for you, instead of against you. 

1. Hit the Pause Button - It is important to maintain your composure and not lash back or respond defensively to criticism. Take a breath. Do not do or say anything. This brief pause not only helps you compose yourself and prepare to listen to what the other person has to say, it demonstrates your poise and self-confidence. Maintaining your composure when criticized shows that you are in control. 

2. Turn on Your Brain and Turn off Your Emotions - It is important to disconnect your automatic emotional response to criticism. Otherwise, you will not be able to objectively consider the value of the information. Focus on the words and facts, not on the feelings they generate within you. Regardless of how undiplomatic-ally the other person is in delivering the feedback, tell yourself that it is designed to help you improve, not to tear you down. 

3. Listen carefully - Listen intently to what the other person is saying. If you are busy formulating your rebuttal, you may miss some valuable information that can help you avoid errors in the future or improve your overall performance. 

While any criticism can be discouraging, it is important to keep in mind that negative feedback can contribute significantly to faster growth and higher performance.

WELCOME ADDRESS BY SWAMI VIVEKANANDA – Chicago,9.11/1893 The World Parliament of Religions, Chicago

“Face the brutes.” That is a lesson for all life—face the terrible, face it boldly. Like the monkeys, the hardships of life fall back when we cease to flee before them.

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The powers of the mind should be concentrated and the mind turned back upon itself; as the darkest places reveal their secrets before the penetrating rays of the sun, so will the concentrated mind penetrate its own innermost secrets.

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Sisters and Brothers of America,

It fills my heart with joy unspeakable to rise in response to the warm and cordial welcome which you have given us. I thank you in the name of the most ancient order of monks in the world; I thank you in the name of the mother of religions, and I thank you in the name of millions and millions of Hindu people of all classes and sects.

My thanks, also, to some of the speakers on this platform who, referring to the delegates from the Orient, have told you that these men from far-off nations may well claim the honor of bearing to different lands the idea of toleration. I am proud to belong to a religion which has taught the world both tolerance and universal acceptance. We believe not only in universal toleration, but we accept all religions as true. I am proud to belong to a nation which has sheltered the persecuted and the refugees of all religions and all nations of the earth. I am proud to tell you that we have gathered in our bosom the purest remnant of the Israelites, who came to Southern India and took refuge with us in the very year in which their holy temple was shattered to pieces by Roman tyranny. I am proud to belong to the religion which has sheltered and is still fostering the remnant of the grand Zoroastrian nation. I will quote to you, brethren, a few lines from a hymn which I remember to have repeated from my earliest boyhood, which is every day repeated by millions of human beings: "As the different streams having their sources in different paths which men take through different tendencies, various though they appear, crooked or straight, all lead to Thee."

The present convention, which is one of the most august assemblies ever held, is in itself a vindication, a declaration to the world of the wonderful doctrine preached in the Gita: "Whosoever comes to Me, through whatsoever form, I reach him; all men are struggling through paths which in the end lead to me." Sectarianism, bigotry, and its horrible descendant, fanaticism, have long possessed this beautiful earth. They have filled the earth with violence, drenched it often and often with human blood, destroyed civilization and sent whole nations to despair. Had it not been for these horrible demons, human society would be far more advanced than it is now. But their time is come; and I fervently hope that the bell that tolled this morning in honor of this convention may be the death-knell of all fanaticism, of all persecutions with the sword or with the pen, and of all uncharitable feelings between persons wending their way to the same goal.

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 CONCLUDING ADDRESS - Chicago, Sept 27, 1893

The World's Parliament of Religions has become an accomplished fact, and the merciful Father has helped those who labored to bring it into existence, and crowned with success their most unselfish labor.

My thanks to those noble souls whose large hearts and love of truth first dreamed this wonderful dream and then realized it. My thanks to the shower of liberal sentiments that has overflowed this platform. My thanks to this enlightened audience for their uniform kindness to me and for their appreciation of every thought that tends to smooth the friction of religions. A few jarring notes were heard from time to time in this harmony. My special thanks to them, for they have, by their striking contrast, made general harmony the sweeter.

Much has been said of the common ground of religious unity. I am not going just now to venture my own theory. But if any one here hopes that this unity will come by the triumph of any one of the religions and the destruction of the others, to him I say, "Brother, yours is an impossible hope." Do I wish that the Christian would become Hindu? God forbid. Do I wish that the Hindu or Buddhist would become Christian? God forbid.

The seed is put in the ground, and earth and air and water are placed around it. Does the seed become the earth, or the air, or the water? No. It becomes a plant. It develops after the law of its own growth, assimilates the air, the earth, and the water, converts them into plant substance, and grows into a plant.

Similar is the case with religion. The Christian is not to become a Hindu or a Buddhist, nor a Hindu or a Buddhist to become a Christian. But each must assimilate the spirit of the others and yet preserve his individuality and grow according to his own law of growth.

If the Parliament of Religions has shown anything to the world, it is this: It has proved to the world that holiness, purity and charity are not the exclusive possessions of any church in the world, and that every system has produced men and women of the most exalted character. In the face of this evidence, if anybody dreams of the exclusive survival of his own religion and the destruction of the others, I pity him from the bottom of my heart, and point out to him that upon the banner of every religion will soon be written in spite of resistance: "Help and not fight," "Assimilation and not Destruction," "Harmony and Peace and not Dissension."

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God is self-evident, impersonal, omniscient, the Know-er and the Master of nature, the Lord of all. He is behind all worship and it is being done according to Him, whether we know it or not.